A Minnesota pastor who started a throuple farm with his two younger lovers shares how they navigate their polyamorous lives.
Bryan Demeritte, 52, lives on his 25-acre ranch in Waseca with his partners Deron Demeritte, 38, and Joshua Rodriguez, 24.
The trio hunt and fish, keep chickens, and grow their own fruits and vegetables in a polyamorous community called the Loving More Farmstead.
Bryan, who also works part-time as a Unitarian minister and seminary professor, describes Deron and Joshua as his two wives.
Speaking with the Minnesota Star TribuneBryan told the newspaper that the three are considered “nestmates” in the non-monogamous community.
Bryan Demeritte, center, lives on a 25-acre farm in Waseca with his partners Deron Demeritte, right, and Joshua Rodriguez, left
Bryan, who also works part-time as a Unitarian minister and seminary professor, describes Deron and Joshua as his two wives.
According to Bryan, he is the “hinge point,” meaning that Bryan has a physical and romantic relationship with both men, but they don’t have one with each other.
Joshua and Bryan have been in a committed relationship for five years, while he and Deron consider themselves “brother-husbands.”
Bryan is a former teacher who grew up Baptist in Missouri, while Deron is originally from the Bahamas and has a background in industrial and commercial HVAC systems.
The two have been married for 11 years, with Joshua also planning to take their last name, as he grew up in Boston.
Deron told the outlet, “I love Josh, but I’m not in love with Josh. We’re almost like brothers.”
The trio recently moved from their five-bedroom ranch, where they lived as business partners and associates, into what they called Loving More Farmstead.
They have three barns, a cornfield, four small vineyards, an apple orchard, geese and 72 Heritage chickens.
They also hope to start a vegetable garden and raise sheep for lamb.
Bryan says he doesn’t know of any other gay, polyamorous, multiracial farming families.
The trio recently moved from their five-bedroom ranch as business and relationship partners into what they call Loving More Farmstead
So far, they have had no problems adapting to the rural community, Bryan says: ‘We are happier than ever.
“I think people in this Minnesota sense are very welcoming, but they also just leave you alone. We’re all just people. We just try to be loving.”
Although their lifestyle is not typical, it is not as unconventional as once thought in publications.
A recent New York Times article on non-monogamy and polyamory portrays it as a fashionable approach to relationships.
An article from last December’s New Yorker titled “How did polyamory become so popular?’ asks the stories about relationships that appear in books, movies, perfume commercials and television shows.
Local non-monogamy group MNPoly reported that its membership has grown to over 4,000 members, an increase of about 1,000 since 2020.
Marie LePage, a nonmonogamy and life coach from Minneapolis, told the newspaper, “It’s become more accepted.
Although their lifestyle is not typical, it is not as unconventional as it was once considered according to publications
‘Personally, I feel more comfortable telling a stranger [about her nonmonogamous relationships]’.
While MNPoly Co-Chair Maija Hitt added: ‘We try to normalize non-monogamy.
‘Nasty [the youth]It’s not going to be a big deal anymore. They’re openly non-monogamous. They’re not hiding it.’
According to a 2023 Pew Research Center survey, one-third of all American adults say open marriages are somewhat or completely acceptable.
The survey found that half of adults under 30 also think open marriages are acceptable.
Demeritte is working on a book entitled ‘The More Love the Better’, in which he discusses non-monogamy in the 21st century from his theological perspective.
He told the outlet, “Someone you know is non-monogamous. It’s becoming more and more mainstream. It’s time to let people be who they want to be and live how they want to live.”
