The world is a less safe place for my daughter than it was for me growing up. This is not an exaggeration — it is a cold, hard fact, reflected in the news this week that should alarm us all.
On Tuesday, the National Council of Police Chiefs published a chilling report saying violence against women and girls has become so “shocking” that it can only be described as a “national emergency” and poses as great a threat to society as terrorism.
Take a moment to read this again: Violence against women and girls is now a national emergency and poses as great a threat to society as terrorism.
I don’t know about you, but when I saw those words I wondered why anyone would talk about anything else.
Violence against women and girls is now a national emergency that poses as great a threat to society as terrorism.
According to the report, a fifth of all crimes recorded by the police involve violence against women and girls. Stalking, harassment, sexual abuse and domestic violence affect one in 12 women in England and Wales, with the number of crimes recorded increasing by 37 per cent over the past five years.
“These are conservative estimates,” the report said. “We know that much crime goes unreported and that the police often only see the tip of the iceberg.”
It’s hard to pinpoint the most disturbing element of this report. It’s full of statistics that make me want to cry: 3,000 crimes are reported every day, there are two million victims every year and one in twenty adults in England and Wales commits violence against women and girls.
But if I had to name one statistic that really upsets me, it is the fact that the average age of a suspect in child sexual abuse and exploitation is only 15 (while the average age of the victims is 13).
There is an epidemic of mistreatment of girls in our schools, and police chiefs believe it is the fault of unchecked online misogyny spread by the likes of influencer Andrew Tate
Sarah Everard was murdered by a serving officer in 2021. Wayne Couzens used his police badge to abduct her
There is an epidemic of this kind of behavior in our schools, and police chiefs blame it on rampant online misogyny spread by people like Andrew Tate (who was banned from Twitter in 2017 for saying women should also be held accountable for rape, but who rose to power again after Elon Musk took over and now has nearly 10 million followers, despite currently awaiting trial in Romania after being charged with rape, sexual exploitation and human trafficking).
Tate is often seen as the king of toxic masculinity, but the so-called “manosphere” is full of guys in fast cars who describe women over 23 as “leftovers” and call for a return to a time when men played the “dominant” role in relationships. Meanwhile, porn is more extreme and accessible than ever.
Deputy Chief Constable Maggie Blyth said of the report that matters were made worse by a criminal justice system “that is currently overstretched and underperforming for victims”.
The police themselves are hardly a beacon of light here. On the same day the report was published, a panel found that Sergeant James Endean, an officer who acted as an ‘ambassador’ for women and girls at Thames Valley Police, whistled at female members of the public and boasted about his sexual prowess to colleagues.
And how can we forget Sarah Everard, murdered by a serving officer who used his police badge to abduct her? Earlier this year, the official report found that police failures in this case were so serious that ‘unless screening and re-screening procedures are significantly improved, there is a danger that another Wayne Couzens is operating in plain sight’.
Olympic sex at home too!
Bryony Gordon with the Olympic torch during her leg of the London 2012 Torch Relay
The start of the Olympics brings with it the usual stories about the number of condoms sent to the athletes’ village (200,000 for the 14,250 participants who live together for two weeks). The Paris Games organizers have also made “anti-sex beds” out of cardboard.
I had always wondered what all the fuss was about… until I covered (and took over) the London 2012 Olympics and realized how exciting it was to watch all those young athletes in action. About nine months later, I got my own Olympic reward: a healthy, bouncing baby, conceived, I think, after watching swimmer Michael Phelps win gold in the individual medley!
That worries me, but not as much as the idea of schoolchildren being so used to online sex and violence that they don’t see the problem. When I was a young girl, my parents worried about stranger danger and gave me vague instructions to get home safely from school quickly and to shout if I saw mysterious figures in dark alleys.
Today, the problems play out at school and at home, thanks to smartphones that give kids access to content that my generation didn’t see until we were at least 20.
And the most worrying thing is that we seem to be rolling, with barely a peep. Why aren’t we doing more to protect our children from this, both girls and boys?
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, as my 11-year-old daughter is starting secondary school in the autumn and conversations inevitably turn to when she’ll get her first phone. Never, if it were up to me, or not until she’s at least 45, but alas I live in South London and not in Cloud Cuckoo Land.
She is one of the last children in her year to get a phone and she is suffering because of it, but I believe that the short term pain outweighs the long term gain. If it means I don’t have to expose her to the Wild West of TikTok, YouTube and Snapchat.
In America, there are devices specifically designed with kids’ safety in mind, such as Samsung’s Bark Phone, which lets you remove and add apps and internet access depending on their age. But there’s no equivalent in the UK, forcing parents to choose between so-called “dumb phones” and smartphones, which are essentially wearable computers.
Of course, you can set up parental controls, but none of them are foolproof. And so children are sucked into online worlds where misogyny and violence are rampant, while we all sit downstairs and watch Netflix.
Where is the anger? When do we march to the government and social media giants and demand change? What needs to happen to make people take this seriously?
I’ll say it again, in case you missed it the first two times: Violence against women and girls is now a national emergency, as much of a threat as terrorism. And if that doesn’t make you think, you might be part of the problem.
Trust clinic
People seem shocked that Rebel Wilson admitted she didn’t have a real relationship until she was in her 40s — but I applaud the actress for refusing to hit “milestones” at the usual times. Remember: The only “right” time to be married or single is the time that’s right for you!
Elon Musk is back at it again about the ‘woke mind virus’ that has apparently infected the world’s youth. Since woke means ‘staying alert to social injustice’, I’m not too worried.
If the worst thing you can say about young people is that they care too much about marginalized people, then I think we’ll be fine.
Taylor triumph of V&A
Congratulations Victoria and Albert Museum for coming up with the best way to entertain youngsters.
The Taylor Swift Songbook Trail, a collection of the singer’s most iconic dresses and items, opens Saturday at the Victoria and Albert Museum
Starting tomorrow, visitors can experience the Taylor Swift Songbook Trail, a collection of the singer’s most iconic dresses and items.
Brilliantly, the curators have spread the items out across the museum, meaning Swifties should also check out the V&A’s permanent collection, featuring work by Sir Joshua Reynolds and John Constable. Something for the whole family.
